International Women's Day #BreakTheBias

March 8th is International Women's Day and this year's theme is #BreakTheBias.  When I think about what this means to me, this is what I came up with...

Bias:  Moms As Primary Caregiver

I have three kids.  I also run an online business from home.  The assumption is that I am the primary attender to my kids and that my business is secondary.  I should always prioritize my kids over work and if I do need to work, then that's more of an exception than the norm.

But here's the thing.  I LOVE my work!  Of course, I love my kids but there are moments in the day where I just want to shut myself in my office and work.  Whether I prioritize my kids or my work is nobody else's business but mine.  It should be a choice I get to make rather than an expectation held over my head. 

Yet, in our current society, the responsibilities of caring for the kids often fall on the mom's lap.  And that is the primary cause of "mom guilt".  Mom-guilt is a real problem and is often linked to anxiety and postpartum depression. 

Sometimes, when I have a work meeting and the husband has to take the baby, I feel extremely guilty.  Over the years, I've actively worked on getting rid of this feeling but it still lingers from time to time.  While my husband thinks nothing of it, I do worry that if his mother or someone else finds out that I am prioritizing a work meeting over my nine month old, they will judge me as being a bad mom. 

Very often when I am conversing with someone and they learn that I have three kids, they say "wow, you have three kids?!  I don't know how you do it!"  Yet they never say that to my husband.  Why is that?  

The truth is I don't take care of all three kids by myself.  My husband plays a big part in their care as well.  He sleep trained all three kids.  He's probably changed more diapers than me.  He's a way better cook than I am so he makes most of our meals.  He does school drop-offs and pick-ups every single day.  Sadly, he doesn't get much of the credit.

I'd love it if people would ask me "how's your business going?" just as many times as they'd ask me "how are your kids doing?"  My business is important to me and I plan to make a big impact on this world one day.  It deserves the spotlight as well!

Finally, I wanted to end on this note.  I used to be afraid of the term 'feminist' because it felt like an aggressive word, like you have to be part of a group or an organization that rallies on the streets.  And the assumption that most feminists are women who hate men.  But the truth is, a feminist simply means someone who advocates for equal rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. 

I am a feminist.  My husband is a feminist.  I am supportive of other female-run businesses.  I am supportive of stay-at-home-dads.  I feel that eco-conscious living is as much a male duty as it is a female duty.  I am a feminist and I shouldn't be afraid to call myself that. 

Thanks for reading and Happy International Women's Day! 

Lots of love,
Sandy

P.S.  To celebrate this year's International Women's Day, I am getting together with a few of my favourite peeps to chat about topics around mompreneurship, the role of eco-living being mostly female-driven and tips on caring for ourselves!  Join us on Instagram @RugsByRoo to join the conversation!